1.  I’d love to share this clean cold fresh new bottle of water with you!
2.  I have no idea who ate that last piece of cake. Was it you? Who was it?! How rude!
3.  No, I don’t really want my french fries. Go ahead. By all means.
4.  It will hurt me more than it hurts you to take away that noisy loud obnoxious blinking electronic toy.
5.  You mean I actually fell asleep when I planted you in front of mindless TV for 2 hours? My bad.
6.  Oh…you walked across my freshly mopped floor with muddy feet? Twice? No biggie. Just a floor.
7.  I’m so sorry we left your freshly painted and aggressively glittered artwork at school….total accident!
8.  Whoops! I think I accidentally deleted Minecraft and Temple Run from my phone!
9.  You don’t want me to walk you into school today or hug you? That’s really cool that you’re getting so big!
10.  You’d prefer I drop off your lunch but not stay and eat with you? No problem at all. I have lots of other things to do!
11.  It’s great that you would rather go on vacation with your buddies rather than your family. Doesn’t bother me at all…go have a good time!
12.  We’re not going to have time to miss you when you leave for college! So many things are happening in our lives!
13.  Don’t worry about me as you as you walk off into your new life….I’ll be fine. Just give me one last hug and go for it!
14.  No, I’m not crying. Just a little dust in my eyes.