I’m sure I’m going to get some prayers said for me (and judgement) after this post, and please pray away.  I need all of the prayer I can get. I keep hearing about it from different people. They say church is no good.  Crazy people are inside those church walls.  They say they have been hurt. They have seen terrible things happen where only good should be happening.  I get that.  I was raised in church. I was the daughter of a Baptist minister.  I was there Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday nights.  I practically lived at the place.  When I grew up, I worked there until maybe just 10 years ago. I was completely consumed with it.

I was hurt.  Over and over I was hurt and lost the closest friendships from the 6th grade even up into my 30’s.  I heard all sorts of stories that would make you physically sick and shock the pants right off of you. I’ve wanted to punch people in the face.  I’ve cried until there were no tears left. I’ve felt the loneliest feelings. So many emotions.  

I don’t trust well.  I learned that any friendship can be taken away under the right circumstances.   

I guess I sound a little messed up, and so I am.  But I thank God every day for His unconditional love and grace – just His grace astounds me.  Because what He showed me was that no matter what, He will be there – ALWAYS.  When I have hurt the most, I have felt loved the most by Him.

I don’t participate much at church anymore. I enjoy going in on Sunday mornings and the small talk.  I LOVE the worship and the sermons.  I get my fill. I think that would sound pathetic, uncommitted and weak to the old me. But, I’m ok with that. Chris and I go on a date on Wednesday nights while the kids are at church – I know. We are heathens, but Red Onion and cupcakes are delicious. Our marriage is better for it.

We are they busiest we have ever been with our kids and we couldn’t love it more! We have a senior, junior and 6th grader.  If you are an empty nester or on the brink, I know you totally get this.  Every moment is PRECIOUS!  What is more precious is my relationship with Christ.  We spend every morning together on my deck, and He is in every aspect of my life. 

But, back to church. When I was thinking about the negatives and the wackos, I was gently reminded of the wonderful things that came from church.

Church is where my faith was born.

Church is where all of the stories of the Bible came to life for me.

Church is where I found refuge from the difficulty of being an insecure middle schooler and  self-conscious junior high girl. 

Church is where I learned to be more confident in high school and that God could do the biggest things with the weakest people.

Church is where I learned to go deeper in my relationship with Christ and that there are a million fascinating surprises and treasures in the Bible if you searched for them.

Church is where I found my husband.  He had been there ever since my 4th grade year sitting on the other side of the auditorium right under my nose.

Church is where my babies were dedicated and baptized. Church is where my kids have received amazing truth and have developed their closest relationships.

I love church.  I know. It can be tough.  But, church is made up of people – all kinds of people.  You are going to cross paths with some weirdos and jerks.  That is part of it, but the beauty, connections and thrill of seeing the wonderful things that come from it outweigh the messy.  So, if you are struggling with it like so many, I completely understand and don’t judge one bit. But, before you discount it, think about the marvelous that comes from it.  God does beautiful and healing work within its walls.