We’ve filled our days, focused on making memories, tried tons of new things, repeated traditions, eaten dozens of family meals, had movie nights, traveled lots of places, taken hundreds of pictures, enjoyed friends, cherished family, holed up in our rooms when we were done with “together time” and tried to make every single second last a year.
But, we failed.
We couldn’t make summer last forever.
August reared its’ humid little head and in one single turn of a calendar page we were slapped in the face with the inevidable truth: school is coming. And it’s coming soon.
There are always different emotions swirling around at this time of year:
–excitement at buying school supplies (usually by the girl in middle school!)
–dread at having to get up early
–being ready to have a schedule again
–hating to have a schedule again…
Then, even if the snooze button gets hit 4-6 times and the water bottle doesn’t EXACTLY match the pencil bag we make it and it happens. A “everybody freaking smile and look adorable so I can post this!” picture gets taken in a traditional spot and everyone goes off to school and a new pattern of normal begins.
For some of us, this year is going to look a little different.
Right now, I’m talking about all of us who are sending one of our babies off to college.
For the most part,college doesn’t begin until after the local schools start, so we have a little grace period of “bonding time” with this kiddo when the others are gone for the day. I suspect that “bonding time” won’t be the “let’s have long lunches together and talk about beautiful memories and your future hopes and dreams–and oh yeah! Make a sealed-with-blood-contract that we will text 19 times each day and talk at least twice!” kind of time I’m sort of hoping for. Instead, I’m pretty sure it will involve me physically threatening my man-child to purchase some sort of bed coverings and begging him to let me see him for 6 minutes before he crams in some more last-minute time with his buds. But…that’s really how it should be.
It’s time to launch. Time to fly. Time to exit the familiar atmosphere of home and family and soar into a crazy new universe that will give him opportunities and experiences he’s been training to do for the last 19 years.
WIll it be scary? Well, yeah. And hard. And intimidating and uncomfortable. There will be failures and misconceptions and heartache. Sadly guaranteed. But, there will also be successes. And achievements; new relationships and new purpose. This is the beginning of becoming an adult, and it’s a hard beautiful transition.
As for those of us left back on the home front watching those babies grow up and away? It’ll be scary. And hard. And, I suspect, very lonely. But I’m so looking forward to being able to watch his face light up when he describes both his successes and challenges. Because….they will be HIS. HE will totally own them. Isn’t that frighteningly awesome?
As I sit in the kitchen and listen to the size 14 feet clomping around over my head, and recognize the music coming faintly through the ceiling from his speaker, I just can’t hardly believe that I only have 18 more days of this. 18 more days of having my 3 babies all at home. With me.
I know he will be back for holidays and some summers….but after he enters college, when he comes home he will always have one foot out the door and planted in his new adult life. That’s just a fact. I catch glimpses of it now when he talks about ideas with a faraway look on his face. I’m so excited for the man he is becoming. It’s so beautiful to watch him grow into what God created him to be!
But. I’m going to be so thankful for every moment of these 18 days that I know where he is and what he’s doing and if he’s eaten any vegetables and if he is happy or sad and whether he is sleeping well or not. I will cherish watching him cuddle with the dogs and bear-hug his sister. I will love it each time he steals a ball of cookie dough that I’m trying to put on the sheet and I’ll smack his hand every single time. I will walk by his room at night and put my hand on his door and pray for God’s protection and direction.
And then, in 18 days when we drive him to school, I’ll probably take a lot of pictures. I’ll post them with the other “first day” ones. I’ll stash some cookies somewhere in his room and make sure he hangs up the collage his sister made him for his dorm. Then I’ll pray over his room and walk away and let my baby launch.
There’s a time for everything. These next few days are meant to be enjoyed, and this next season is meant to be loved. He’s ready. I’m ready. I’ve got kleenex. We’ll make it.
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